The death of a loved one is never easy.  The support of friends and family means the world to those impacted by death.  Everyone who reaches out has good intentions.  This is the time to make things flow smoothly in the life of the bereaved.  After having recently lost my mother, I know now more than ever what this means,  I appreciate every act of kindness shown me.  As a result, it has made me want to do a better job at being supportive of those who have suffered a loss.  Some of these suggestions I knew about and have done, and some are new to me as well.
-Have dinner sent over or prepare a meal.  Make enough for them to share as they will have guests floating in and out.  Something smaller scale can be a snack tray or sweet treats such as brownies in lieu of a meal.
-With guests comes the need for paper products: bath tissue, paper towels, paper plates, etc.
-Send stamps with your condolence card.  I SO appreciated this gesture and used every single one when sending out thank you notes.  It's inexpensive, thoughtful, and much needed.
-Get a copy made of any memento that you might have with the deceased.  One of my mom's friends sent me a photo of my mom with my brother and I when we were small that I had never seen. I will truly cherish it.
-Attend the services if possible.  You have no idea how much it means to see a familiar, friendly and supportive face. Even if you just stop by and sign the guest book, knowing that you were there gives the family so much comfort.  And a note about signing the guest book-please print your name legibly and include an address.  It makes it easier for the family to acknowledge your presence with a note of thanks.
-If you send flowers/plants, please have the florist include your full name address on the card, again so that the family can send the note of thanks.
-If you do visit with the family at their home, be mindful of the length of your stay.  They are emotionally and physically spent, especially during the early days and the day of the service.
-Follow up and check on them periodically.  Those weeks and months after the loss are sometimes the most painful.  Oftentimes that is when the grieving process REALLY starts.

Hello friends!
The wedding season typically commences with Valentine's Day so thought it would be useful to offer a few tips for wedding etiquette!  Please please please please please please RSVP!!!!!!  By RSVP I mean the following: reply IN WRITING (hopefully the bride is following proper etiquette by providing a stamped and addressed reply card with the invitation) BY THE DATE REQUESTED.  This planning is critical to the budget planning for the couple, as the reception if oftentimes the single largest expense.  The food is charged PER PERSON so the headcount is critical.  Respond with the number of persons that will accompany you. Now let me say this-if you are not a member of the family or VERY CLOSE, this typically is PLUS ONE! If the bride specifies no children, please be kind enough to adhere to that.  Children are headcount and the couple may desire a more adult themed reception serving alcohol, which is inappropriate for children. Please be kind and have the gift sent to their HOME.  If you are buying from their registry, the address is already on file and the store will even wrap it for you.  This keeps you from having to drag a big box in your wedding attire (more on dress later) and more importantly, it keeps the couple, planner, hostesses or whoever from having to worry about keeping up with it after the festivities.  If you do decide to take the gift to the wedding, please be sure to properly identify it as coming from you so that it can be acknowledged with the proper thank you. If you are putting a card in the wishing well, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE CASH.  It is so easy to lose track of!
Please wear the appropriate attire.  Unless specified jeans are NEVER appropriate for a wedding.  There are certain rules for day verses night weddings, but if the invitation specifies black tie, please adhere to that.  I'm still a firm believer that men should wear a sport coat at a minimum regardless (maybe a beach wedding is an exception).  And please be on your best behavior. If the reception is hors d'oeuvres then govern yourselves accordingly.  The plates will be smaller because the intent is smaller portions.  Never go to a wedding hungry.  I actually attended a wedding once where the guests went into the kitchen of the venue and found carryout containers so that they could eat more!  You know I was about to faint! Don't pile a bunch of food on the plate.  If there are not servers, please do not overindulge!  Be considerate of other guests being served.  Do not get drunk!  Even if it is a cash bar and you are buying your own drinks.  There is noting more disruptive or distracting than an obnoxious drunk person at a wedding reception.
During the ceremony and reception please follow decorum and do not obstruct the PAID photographers trying to get pics on your cell phone! Do not publish or share any photos without the bride and groom's permission.  This day is about the bride and the groom and the celebration of them starting their lives together as one. Your role is to make this day as joyous as possible for them!

It's been a while and I've missed you all!  Life happens but this blog was an outlet for me as well so here goes! I've been meaning to post on this subject for quite some time.  In fact, every time I attend an event that is "formal" and I see everything that is NOT formal. Formal seems to intimidate because people think it means "expensive".  But you can create formal looks on a budget.  I know people bend the rules a lot but formal for women means a long gown and formal for men means a tuxedo.  Simple as that.  My rule of thumb with maintaining my formal wear wardrobe is to buy it without having an occasion to wear it. One of the best times to catch formal wear on sale is immediately after prom season or after the holiday season.  Retailers are anxious to clear that space.  You can also make a simple maxi dress formal by adding a pair of chandelier earrings and a fancy clutch.  Be sure the dress is very simple (solid colored-black is always appropriate and slimming!). For men it's even simpler.  Every grown man should own a good solid black suit.  A nice white shirt and a solid black tie and voila you have the look of a tuxedo!  If you attend at least one formal a wear it is worth it to go ahead and invest in a tuxedo.  They actually are not that expensive and you will never have to rent again!  Touches like a colored pocket square or a flower lapel pin make it uniquely yours.  And PLEASE do not coordinate the tie and cummerbund with your date's dress!  SO 1980s prom and SO not necessary!  Classic black tie matches everything.  Period.  So now that we know what formal is....we must broach the subject of what formal IS NOT! Formal is not a suit in any color other than black.  Not up for discussion.  Just no.  Now if you are stylish enough to pull off brocade or smoking jackets you already know what to do so this is not speaking to you.  Formal is also NEVER without a jacket.  So walking suits (basically a camp shirt with matching pants or as my friend Ouida calls them "sets") are NOT formal. Ever.  Jeans (I don't care if they are True Religion) are not formal.  Ever. Ladies tea length dresses are not formal.  That is cocktail attire.  I know many do it but formal means floor length gown.  Sorry. So if your see the words "black tie" or "formal" please comply!  Smooches!

One of my friends has a daughter who will be graduating college and entering the professional workforce soon.  Her wardrobe consists of the basic co-ed attire: sweats, shorts, jeans and t-shirts.  Her mom asked me to help her build a wardrobe and I thought this would be helpful for every woman.  Admittedly the workplace has gotten more casual these days, and even major companies now allow jeans every day.  But I'm a bit old school in that my professional persona has a lot to do with my attire.  So having said that, here are the core pieces every professional woman should own.
​
-A black dress of a year round fabric weight (i.e. jersey knit) with sleeves, a modest neckline and hitting right at at below the knee.  Wrap dresses are ideal and are flattering to most body types.
-A navy or black blazer
-Slacks in the following colors: tan, grey, and black.  Watch the rise and make sure they come up high enough on the waist.
-A white blouse.  Cotton is best.
-A black pencil skirt that hits right below the knee
-A pair of black leather mid heel pumps
-A string of pearls
-A white scoop or v neck cotton knit shirt
-A denim jacket (yes I know this deviates from what I said but this is my go-to wardrobe stable that can easily transition a dressy outfit to casual for casual Friday, after work, etc.)
-A bold gold necklace
-A silver necklace
-A pair of neutral leather flats
-A pair of nude pumps
-A lined trench coat (can transition from spring to fall by removing the lining)
-A red flower pin (a whimsical, feminine touch!). Try it on the black dress or one of the blazers!
-A thin cardigan (you can choose one that is a bold color!)
The beauty of these basic pieces is that:
A. Most can be purchased very inexpensively at places like Target, The Gap, Old Navy.  I literally was walking through Target and saw just about every piece named above and all were under $40.
B.  You can mix and match all to have several options: Navy blazer, white blouse, grey slacks, silver necklace, black pumps.  Cardigan, pencil skirt, black pumps, pearls....the permutations and combinations are numerous!

This is a good basic template from which to start.  Accessories like bright scarves, twin sets, and patterned blouses can easily build upon this list. These are classic pieces that will never go out of style.

Until next time!

The next dress we will introduce is the one shoulder dress. Most may not think of this as versatile, but it actually is. It comes in varying lengths and fabrics, and just a change in shoes and accessories can take it from a wedding to the beach. Add sparkly accessories and a nice sling back and this is perfect for a spring or summer wedding. A flat sandal and a floppy beach hat and you're ready for the beach! And nothing sets off a one shoulder dress more than a nice chunky bracelet on the arm with the exposed shoulder! I found the dress pictured on eBay for about $20.

What positive feedback on this post! And today was the perfect day to model one of the looks mentioned. The high temp will be in the 60s; not cool enough for a coat, but a bit too cool to go sleeveless. But we still want to embrace the spring season. The answer-sleeveless sheath with white blouse underneath! Add a flower for color! And what's not to love about red pumps with black and white! Black sheath from Target-$30, white blouse from TJ Maxx-$16, red Calvin Klein pumps from Ross-$25, red flower pin from Stein Mart-$16. Until next time!

This will be the first in a series of entries about dresses that every fashionista should have in her wardrobe.

So let's start with "the little black dress". This is one of those items that you should invest in as it is timeless and multi functional. And, there are several types of black dresses that you should own.

Of course you should own a little black cocktail dress. Perfect for weddings, cocktail parties, corporate parties, and holiday parties.

Then there is your basic black sheath. A sleeveless one is your best bet because you can wear it across seasons. Add a cardigan for the cooler seasons or a crisp white blouse underneath. And this one doesn't have to be expensive as long as it has a good fit. I actually found mine at Target for $30! I have added both a wide belt and a skinny belt to accent, and have worn it with both patterned tights in winter and sandals in spring. For a pop of color, add a flower pin. The flower pin can also make a plain black dress more festive for spring weddings or garden parties.

An optional black dress is a black maxi. I have worn maxi dresses for years. Long before they became all the rage. I love them because they are comfortable, appropriate for all ages, and again functional. They can be worn with ballet flats or high heels. They can be dressed down by adding a jean jacket or dressed up by adding a bold necklace.

But probably the best thing about black dresses is that they are slimming! But please follow the fit rules and ensure you buy the proper style for both your body type and age. Jersey knit is a very forgiving fabric choice suitable for just about every body type.

I found the dress in the picture at my local consignment shop (Sugarplum Consignments) for $28! It still had the original tags attached and had never been worn!

As I approach 50, I have been asked what my secret is....I jokingly reply, eye cream, hair dye, and proper foundations! And let's be clear, I am just as guilty with missing the mark at times as everyone else! As a relatively average size up top (34 C) I have been a slacker when it came to bras. I would buy pretty bras that didn't necessarily give me adequate coverage. And, as one that can go without, I have not invested a lot in my bras. But trust, the first time you put on a GOOD bra, you immediately know the difference! There is nothing more unflattering than an ill fitting bra! An inexpensive outfit with a good bra works; the inverse is NOT true. So invest in good bras (think Soma, Natori, Wacoal). Even if that means buying one a month. Have at least 5 good bras. Wash them on delicate and hang them to dry and they will last longer. And PLEASE wear the right type of bra! Strapless garments require strapless bras! Don't you just want to pop people in the back of their head when you see them violate this? If a sleeveless garment has large armholes in the back, wear a racer back or cross strap bra. Take the time to get properly fitted as well. It is free at many major stores (Dillard's, JC Penney, Macy's).

Now for the bottom half. I have been wearing "bottom" foundations since I was 12. I grew up in the era where older ladies gave young mothers advice and they actually listened. The older ladies told my mom I needed a panty girdle and she complied. There is something about everything being in its place and not "moving" that enhances your look. You should look smooth under your clothes, no matter what size you are. The inventor of Spanx (side note-this should have been me! I have been cutting the legs off pantyhose for years! Ugh!) is a size 4. And as we have stated before, find what works best for you. For some garments, it may be control top pantyhose, for others a control slip (and these don't work for me as they tend to ride up), boy shorts or something else. These are the things we should not witness with proper foundations:

Cellulite

Panty lines

Cup spillage

Back fat

Nipples

Muffin tops

Have a great week!!!!

This post is about hair.....

So I recently reverted back to my beloved pixie cut. I've had long hair, short hair, colored hair etc. The key thing to consider regarding hair is that it is often the first thing people notice about you. Unkempt hair can be in a single word....distracting. So choose something that works for you and your lifestyle and activities. If you are not the handiest with hair then get a weave or cute wig. If you work out a lot then perhaps going natural is best. There is no right or wrong answer, but just ensure that it is appropriate and well coiffed. No matter how chic the outfit, if the hair is not together, then the LOOK is not together. Think TOTAL package! Find a stylist that you trust. Use products that are suited to your hair texture and type. Weaves and wigs require grooming as well so no "bird nests" please! Choose a style that is flattering to your face shape. Everybody can't wear every style and just because it looks good on someone else doesn't necessarily mean it would be flattering for you. Hair is referred to your "crowning glory" so consider it as such and keep those "crowns" polished! Until next week!

To paraphrase the phrase made famous from the OJ Simpson trial, properly fitting garments are not negotiable. For most of us, this can be challenging. Using myself as an example, I have small shoulders, big arms, a small waist, big hips, and I'm 5'2" tall. Separates are our friend! But oftentimes you cannot find separates ;here is the rule of thumb-buy the garment to fit your largest sized area. Then find a seamstress that you love because they will also become your friend! There is nothing worse than seeing a skirt suit with that back split in the skirt crying for dear life! Or sleeves that cover your hands! Properly fitting garments are independent of price....you can purchase something inexpensive and with proper alterations, it can appear to be custom made. Also, a suit doesn't have to be "matchy matchy"...a dark jacket and light bottom are acceptable and much easier to buy as separates....more on key pieces that are essential to your wardrobe later! Hope this helped!